Single For The Summer

As the flowers begin to bloom and spring makes way to summer, those cuffing-season relationships that warmed us up in the winter months begin to freeze up in the LGBTQ+ community. With just a month before the official start of summer, some LGBTQ+ ladies are planning ahead for sunshine and singledom and turning springtime into an unofficial breakup season. While some in our community are planning their trips to exotic locales, or even knee deep in nuptial preparation (complete with engagement photos by the Capitol), there are a select few opting to pre-plan their breakups—thus deeming them single for the summer.

I know what you may be thinking, ”Who does that?”

Most won’t admit to it, but the thought has probably crossed many people’s minds when their relationship hits some serious turmoil in these soggy months of spring. A variety of reasons can cause the demise of a relationship. People grow apart or sometimes don’t even try to grow at all. Your cuffing season has expired and those holiday feels are all gone, so what’s left? You find yourself asking questions, such as: 

“What do we actually have in common?”

“Do you even get along with my friends?”

“You’re allergic to the sun?”

You begin to find the honeymoon phase of that new relationship is starting to fade away, and that cute sneeze of your partner’s now sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Or perhaps you’ve been coupled up for even longer, and you’re ready to explore what else is out there. Suddenly, the thought of spending yet another summer with your girlfriend’s family in the middle of nowhere Idaho becomes unbearable.

In an effort to honor those “New year, new me” resolutions, you might find yourself leaning towards cutting ties with your bae before your summer social calendar starts to fill up, feeling eager to new people or just take some time with your own self.  While a pre-meditated breakup may garner some criticism, you’ll find plenty of supporters too— chances are, you’ve probably tried to fix that unhappy relationship as the months grew warmer, but things just didn’t seem to work. So why spend the best months of the year trudging along in a relationship, while potentially missing opportunities of a lifetime?

I’ll be honest and openly admit that I was once THAT lesbian. When roads got rocky for a former relationship, I planned the break up for June.

Calculated? Absolutely! 

It was just in time for Pride, beach trips with friends, and the idea of pursuing new passions with new people to encourage me. However, I did feel bad for that abrupt and ever-so-obvious timing, so I ended up not following through with my breakup plan until that fall. Unlike me, my guilty conscious, and poor follow-through, I’ve heard discussions of planned break ups from at least three mutual friends this month. With it only being mid-May, I can’t help but think that the impending summer filled with sun and fun have been pushing those troublesome relationships to the brink.

No one is exempt from the pre-summer breakup blues—karma caught up to me, the girl who tried to plan her own strategic parting of ways, last summer. To my surprise, I found myself unexpectedly single in May like so many others this month. But whether you’re the one doing the splitting or being left to your own devices, you can always chose to charge ahead. Take the summer to reconnect with yourself and create those Instagram-worthy memories with the people that decided to stick around.

Words: Diane Melis